Reach Out
by Subliminally Profound
Summary: People live for years, sometimes forever, going through the motions of solitude and conformity to ideals of the self that do not align with what they truly want out of life, or one another.
1. Ice

_Reach Out_

**Ice**

The shadows were beginning to disappear from the November ground when the snow began to fall upon Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. House was on the verge of an epiphany sparked from the repetitious bouncing of his tennis ball from the wall to his hand when Wilson walked into his office.

"So where is your team? Did they finally wake up and realize they'd be better off on the janitorial staff than to be trapped under the puppet master's thumbs?" Wilson asked, mildly poking at his friend who seemed almost down underneath the stress of the case.

"Wow. Thanks, Chuckles. From now on when I need a laugh, I'll definitely remember to look for you. Oh, wait. I already do." House replied, ball still maintaining its motions.

"Foreman and Cameron have left for the day. Chase is probably just finishing up his last clinic rounds." House added after a brief point of silence.

"The snow is really starting to come down. I can't believe Christmas is almost here again, already." Wilson commented.

"It's arguably the most useless time of the calendar year. But before you get all preachy and sentimental, I'll spare you the lecture as to why it is so. Shouldn't you be more focused on the non-Christian holidays though?" House asked, taking yet another stab at his friend's Jewish heritage.

Wilson smiled, amused, "You know I'm very secular. If I weren't, I don't think I'd be as tolerant for most everything that comes out of that opinionated mouth of yours."

"Oh, you're more than tolerant of me. You love me and you know it." House said, dropping his ball on his desk and making a move to stand and leave.

Wilson got up to follow him, shaking his head as he did so. "Whatever you say, House."

When they got to their cars, they agreed to drive back to Wilson's place for dinner as a change of scenery. Wilson stopped by a nearby pizza parlor and picked up a large pizza for them both to share. Meanwhile, House had let himself into Wilson's hotel room, and, after deeming the liquor supply insufficient, went back out to find something worth their while.

House returned, with two cases in hand, and Wilson simply nodded, having already guessed why House had taken this long to arrive. Wilson came back from washing his hands to find House already deleting everything on his TiVo at random. "House, this may come as a shock to you, but my TiVo doesn't revolve around you and your tastes. That's what yours does."

"Yea, but all of this isn't really watchable by anyone's standards, let alone just mine." House said in a matter of fact tone, without pausing to look up at Wilson.

House dropped the remote and turned off the television in defeat, and looked to Wilson who had sat next to him on the bed, beer and pizza in hand. "What do you want to do now?"

Wilson shrugged. "I don't know. We could always talk." Wilson looked over at House, waiting to be insulted.

House rose to this expectation and replied, "So this was your plan all along. Invite me back to your crappy hotel room where there is nothing to watch out of your poor selection on TiVo, so in the end I'd be forced to talk to you."

"When you say it like that, it sounds devious and horrible. Really, though. Is talking with me that painful?" Wilson asked honestly, hoping for an honest answer.

House looked at him as he chewed, and, was just on the cusp of sarcastically smacking Wilson upside the head when he caught his eye. Something in the back of his mind told him to let this one slide. "No. It's not. What do you want to talk about?"

Wilson looked at House with a stunned expression. "What? You're being serious, aren't you?"

"Yes. I don't have to tell you how rarely these come around, so don't waste it. What's on your mind?" House said, resuming his beer consumption.

"Nothing specifically. Met anyone lately?" Wilson asked, taking another bite.

"You mean am I dating someone? No, not really. You've found a woman haven't you?" House reversed.

"No, I have not." Wilson said, getting up to throw his plate away.

When Wilson sat back down, House asked "Then what's with this line of questioning?"

"I was just wondering if you were going to be bringing someone to the New Years party at the hospital." Wilson said, nonchalantly.

"Yea, as if I'd go to that willingly. I don't even know when it is. Who are you going with?" House said.

"It's at nine on the 31st, and I'm not going with anyone, yet. What are you doing for Christmas this year?" Wilson asked watching House throw his plate and glass away.

"Let's see. I'll be drinking, playing the piano, watching bad tv, and sleeping." House asked, conversationally.

"You can't be alone on Christmas, House. Why do you always do this kind of thing to yourself?" Wilson asked, becoming emotional.

"Why do people think that? Yes. I _can_ be alone on Christmas. And the snow will fall, the sun will rise, and the world keeps on spinning. Besides, it's not like I have…" House caught himself from admitting anything that might give the impression that he cared.

When Wilson saw that House had no intention of finishing what he was going to say, he sighed and softly said, "I'm really sorry you feel that way."

House turned safely away from Wilson's disappointed eyes before inquiring what Wilson's plans for the holidays were. "So what are you going to be up to for Christmas?"

"Well, I was thinking about spending it with people here, but now I'm going to accept my family's invitation this year." Wilson said, even-toned.

"People, what people?" House curiously questioned.

"Friends." Wilson replied simply.

House didn't press any further, and, in truth, House didn't want to hear the details of Wilson befriending better society. He looked down at his watch, and rose slowly. Wilson looked up, composure completely restored to his face, and asked, "What're you doing?"

"I think I should be getting home. The snow isn't going to be letting up any time soon." House said. He turned around before adding, "Thanks for the company. I'll see you at work, Monday."

"It's no problem at all, House. Please, be careful." Wilson said, rising to let House out and lock up behind him.

"Don't worry. 'Night." House said, stepping out into the hallway.

"House." Wilson said, giving House pause as he turned back for one last look, waiting for Wilson to finish.

"You're welcome to come," Wilson told House as he held his gaze. When House was still silent, he clarified, "To my parents' house for Hanukkah."

House sighed and cleared his throat before saying, "Goodnight, Wilson."

With that, House turned and headed toward the elevator. Wilson returned to his room and sat on his bed, and tried for the rest of the night not to think about the hurt he felt with regard to House's dismissal of him.


	2. Friction

_Reach Out_

**Friction**

_Two Weeks later…_

Cuddy spotted House limping down the hallway, and approached him. "I just talked with Cameron. You're not skipping the party. I have to maintain a certain level of attendance for hospital leadership, and, while it is beyond me how you've managed to retain such status, you fall into that category. So, you're going."

House answered in keeping with his usually aggressive banter with his Dean of Medicine with, "If I go, it will only be to network for a better job and a better salary than you're giving me in this dump, regardless of how good an argument your cleavage makes for me to stay."

Cuddy shook her head. "This is why you'll be spending the rest of your life alone. Just show up, try not to be more than an hour late, and try to contain yourself to having only one public outburst for the evening. Pretty please…"

"You finished? I'm almost ready to hang myself just listening to your people pleasing, soul-sucking, non-work related waste of conversation." House said, only aware of half of the well-practiced insults coming from his mouth.

"I'm already lowering my expectation that you'd bring a date, to complement you I mean. There aren't many doctors of your standing that will be attending single. In fact, I'm not even going to put up the pretense; you will be the only one. If you wanted to really give an impression for one of these alleged 'jobs' elsewhere, you'd bring someone along who actually _wants _to be there with you."

"Thanks for the advice, and judging from that performance, the man you're bringing must be ready to leave a huge impression." House said, with an exaggerated wink.

Cuddy spun on her heels and clicked down the hall with a quickened pace. House was annoyed with himself, more so than with Cuddy, because he actually cared, on some level, about what she had said about his life.

He entered his conference room to find all three of his subordinate doctors waiting for him. "Where have you been? We've been debating for nearly forty-five minutes over causes for this guy's pain and you weren't here to even hear us out." Foreman said in an exasperated tone.

"How would you define success in society?" House invited, generally.

"If one has a good career, a comfortable home, and people around him to share it with, I would say he or she is successful." Chase guessed.

"So we've established that success has a social component to it. It can't be achieved without a significant other, a house, and perhaps a white picket fence?" House said, almost rhetorically.

"Well that does seem to be what everyone tries to do, House. We go to college, get a good job, get married, and the rest is pretty much history." Foreman stated.

"House, what exactly is this about?" Cameron asked, perceptively.

House looked at his three fellows, as if appraising them for discussion-worthiness. "Cuddy told me I would be the only doctor with my status to be at the New Year's party, and something about that not being good for my impression management."

"Oh, House, I'm sure she doesn't really have that attitude." Cameron sympathetically offered.

"Yea, and I'm sure she said it after House said something equally nasty to her." Foreman said in Cuddy's defense.

"Enough. I didn't tell you about it for sympathy. I told you in order to illustrate the point that in order to succeed in this restrictive, image-conscious, bureaucratic hypocrisy that is our society, you need to have someone on your arm." House said.

"There's your lesson for the day. Go to work." House instructed.

_Later that afternoon…_

Wilson sat across from House at a table in the hospital cafeteria, "You told her she was a waste of payroll? I bet she loved that. How many extra hours of clinic duty did you earn?" Wilson asked, laughing.

"She knows better than do give me all that while I've got a case. I would have been screwed if we weren't doing anything." House said looking at his friend with a smirk.

"Yea, workload does seem to always pickup around this time of year." Wilson frowned.

"Aw, don't go getting all sensitive on me, here. Look, statistically there should be more accidents with the increased intercity, interstate, and international traffic that holiday visitation brings about. It's perfectly normal and we should just accept and expect it." House pointed out while poking at his salad.

"Wow. You must be really pissed off." Wilson assessed, and left it at that.

"Whatever," House retorted without as much venom as one might expect.

"It's ok, House. You don't need some trophy wife for people to appreciate what an amazing doctor and person you are. You just need to dial down the asshole thing a smidge." Wilson said, in a jokingly genuine effort to console his friend's sense of self-worth.

"Thanks." House said simply, though that slight thanking conveyed the true volume of his gratitude.

"No problem. So, I'll be taking off the 22nd through the 28th to go to my parents' house for Hanukkah." Wilson said, taking great lengths to be as casual as possible.

"Ok. Is your whole family going?" House asked, if only to keep the conversation moving.

"My parents, one of my brothers with his wife and two of my cousins with their families will be there. Not too crowded, but enough for a full house, I guess." Wilson said.

They finished their lunches and House said, "Well, I need to go check on the babies, and see if they're any closer to the answer. See you, Wilson. Good luck in cancer land." House said in an effort to diffuse the situation.

"See you later, House." Wilson said after he was already out of earshot.

_On December 15__th__…_

House walked into the hospital lobby characteristically late, though not his worst time, and he spotted his best and only friend. At that moment, Wilson was preoccupied by a conversation with a blonde woman, who by anyone's standards would be classified as reasonably attractive. House paused in careful observation of the total ease with which Wilson was conversing with this lady whom he had never encountered before. Under normal circumstances, he would have forced himself upon their discussion with intent of blatantly ridiculing his friend in front of whoever Wilson was connecting.

This time, however, House thought better of it. Wilson deserves this; House could give him a freebie this close to Christmas. It certainly wouldn't kill him. House limped as inconspicuously as he could over to the main elevator and proceeded directly to his office. Wilson had given nary an indication that he'd even seen House pass him by.

By this time, House's team had successfully identified the neurological imbalance causing the patient's underlying dysfunction, which had been masked by her compulsive drinking vice. Each of the fellows under House were redirected to meet the increasing demands of the hospital in higher volume departments until such time that a case presented itself, which would take "priority" to bring them back together to Diagnostics.

This meant that House was more or less alone, left to process the reporting of the last few case by himself. Cuddy had already come by to remind him that, in addition to reports for the previous case, his yearly audit for his doctors' individual reports was due January 7th. As he had done nothing during the year, as he did every year, he was left to cram for this deadline as he is every December. This lull in his department allowed him extra time for this, and even he knew when to maximize.

At around 4:45pm, Wilson strolled into House's office to find it completely empty and House's desk, for once, clear of clutter. After inquiring with Dr. Cuddy regarding his friend's whereabouts, he discovered that no one had seen him the entire day, but she had come into her office after a meeting to find his reports and audit turned in early, which is uncharacteristic of House. Noting that House's car was still in the parking lot, Wilson knew of only one place his friend would go to disappear.

The crisp air hit Wilson's face as he exited the hospital entry way onto the roof. On the edge of the wall overlooking the entire building and courtyard, House sat without acknowledging the arrival of Wilson.

"Hey, House" Wilson said.

"Hello, Wilson" House said.

"I missed you at lunch. Is everything ok?" Wilson asked, hoping he wouldn't receive a tongue lashing for openly showing his concern.

Rather than answering the question directly, House responded with another unrelated question, as he often does. "If you could have anything you wanted in the world for Christmas, or Hanukkah or whatever, what would it be?" House asked quietly, looking down at the ants entering the hospital with hopes of immediate improvement of their lives or those of their loved ones.

Wilson furrowed his eyebrows in thought, "Huh. Let's see." House looked up at Wilson, waiting for a response. "I would want someone to come home to, someone to hold, and to love." Wilson answered truthfully with a thickened voice, color washing over his face.

House nodded, turning back to his watch below. "Looks like you've found that." He said, his voice betraying a fraction of the bitterness he felt.

"What?" Wilson asked confusion written all over his face. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." House replied, grabbing his cane and making his way back to the stairs.

"No, House I don't. What is wrong? What did I do?" Wilson inquired earnestly.

House kept moving at a brisk pace. Wilson caught up with him, however, and grabbed his arm to turn House toward him. "House, stop for a minute and talk to me. Please."

"What is it that you wanted, Wilson?" House asked, his voice devoid of energy.

"I…I wanted to know if you'd found someone to go to the party with." Wilson said softly, ashamed somehow.

"Seriously? This again, Wilson? Why the hell are you so invested in this?" House asked angrily.

"I wanted to ask if you'd go with me." Wilson admitted, now feeling incredibly small, standing before House with his utterly foolish request.

"Oh, now this is too much. You've got to be kidding me. You want me to go with me as your what, your charity case? Am I your project to showcase your ability to change the big and bad Dr. House into something presentable?" House shot at him to the best of his ability.

Wilson looked at him, stunned into inaction. "No, House. You know I don't think of you that way. How could you think I'd ever do that to you?"

"Not interested Wilson. Take the hint." House said harshly as the door slammed behind him.

_That night…_

House lay in his bed, undeniably envious of the unknown blonde woman.


	3. Glass Walls

_Reach Out_

**Glass Walls**

_December 21…_

"Yes Mom, I'll be there by six tomorrow night, 7 at the very latest." Wilson assured his mother as he sat down at his desk to begin his last day before his time off. Heaving a sigh, he answered her last question with "No Mom, I won't be bringing anyone with me. I am very much single, and if I did find someone that important to me, you would have been the very first person I'd tell."

"Yes Mom, I promise I'll call you when I leave tomorrow morning." And with that, the conversation with his mother was ended and he began to go over files and the settling all of his current in-house patients with temporary attending physicians before he left.

It was odd. He had had no contact with House for almost a week since the confusing conversation they'd had on the roof. His life had been uncommonly quiet, filled with no interruptions, and characterized by peaceful human interaction. But mostly it had felt dull and empty, as if a part of him that had been there all along had suddenly ceased to exist, leaving only a melancholic ache behind.

If asked, James Wilson would not have said he was happy with his current relationship with Gregory House, but it had been maintaining the same level of closeness up until hitting a brick wall six days ago. As he finished his last patient transfer form, he briefly wondered what could have caused House to act the way he had, or if House needed a specific reason at all. Unfortunately for Dr. Wilson, there was no one other than House to answer him with a truthful "yes."

Even though he was expected at 9am, Dr. House arrived at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital promptly at noon that same day. No one looked up from the nursing station to greet him, given who he was, but, had they done so, the nurses would have been surprised by the degree House's leg was causing him to suffer by walking.

Ever since his regretful conversation with Wilson, even House could not exactly decipher the source of his exaggerated pain between the cold environment and the aching sadness at the loss of his one companion. While knowing that he would be happier if he simply apologized and reconnected with his friend, he chose instead to sulk at Wilson's having found another plaything to entertain his notion of perpetuating the typical American Dream.

"Merry Christmas, House." Cameron greeted cheerily from the table in the newly decorated conference room. There was a tree by the coffee cabinet, two small wreaths on the inner door handles, and a life-sized holiday decal with a beautiful holiday setting of a fireplace was stuck to the glass wall facing from the outside hallway.

"I see you three have had a productive morning." House muttered, pouring himself a cup of coffee that had been made three hours prior to his sobering entrance.

"We just couldn't let our department be the only one in the hospital that wasn't acknowledging what time of year this is." Chase said, already knowing he'd be labeled a conforming sheep.

House lacked the energy to respond, however, and Chase appreciated being let off the hook; even if he could see his boss was not living up to his usual level of bad health.

"Are you alright, House?" Foreman asked, arms crossed and braced, hoping an unfeeling brush-off was the worst he'd receive.

"Don't worry about it. Just make yourselves busy. I believe there are some coloring books in the bookcase if you're in need of ideas." House said, limping laboriously toward his office desk.

House sat at his desk feigning an all-consuming interest in the few homeless procedural forms on his desk. House knew that today would be the last day before Wilson's trip back to his parents' home. He really should have been heading in to Wilson's office to apologize, and to provide what little support he could muster for his happiness which stemmed from this new nameless blonde bimbo. House just could not find it within himself to do this one more time. He didn't want anything from or expect much of the world, but the few times he did truly want something, or in this case someone, why did it have to be this hard to get?

As the workday came to a close, Wilson stopped by Dr. Cuddy's office for a brief check-in before leaving. "Hey Lisa, I just wanted to thank you again for the time off, I know it was last minute."

"Don't mention it. I can't remember the last time I heard about you going to see your parents for more than two afternoons out of the year. Go enjoy yourself and come back rested for the party." Cuddy reassured him.

"Alright, will do. Have a happy holiday, and I'll see you at the New Year's benefit. Thanks again." Wilson said, exiting her office.

While Wilson was heading out of the clinic area toward the main lobby's entrance, House came limping out of the elevator and he barely even flinched before limping passed a hurt Wilson. In the parking lot Wilson ran up behind House who, with his defective leg, was sadly but fortunately not difficult to pursue on foot.

"House, wait." Wilson said, grabbing his arm to turn him into face to face conversation.

He was anticipating House to angrily pull away, threaten him with physical retaliation, or even hitting him prior to either of those options. Instead, he was met only with the silent expectation that he explain his interruption and moving along afterwards.

"Yes, Wilson?" House asked, oddly patient and even toned.

Wilson realized he hadn't really thought through how to approach House one last time before parting for what would be a comparatively long period away from one another, and, he was now left with the fumbling consequences of his impulsive action.

"I don't know what else to say to you, so I'm just going to ask? Why are you so upset with me? And don't act like you're not, because I really can't remember a time we've been like this." Wilson said, voice breaking in places.

House simply smiled softly and responded with, "Wilson, please don't trouble yourself on my account. Any negative feelings we have amongst ourselves will be resolved by the time you get back, and you know they always do. But if you must know, the reason I haven't been as available to you as I usually am is because I'm trying my best to distance myself from you so that you have space to be happy with whomever you want to be with. This helps me not get crowded out and we both have room to breathe this way. Now, cheer up, and go enjoy your Jewish celebrations with people you love."

And with that speech, House turned and limped away attempting to savor the small, fleeting taste of victory in being the one in the position to reject.

Back in the conference room, Drs. Cameron, Chase and Foreman were putting their coats on and gathering their briefcases in order to leave their work for the day. As they were heading out the door, Cameron asked, "How long do you guys think House and Wilson are going to be at odds?"

"Not that it's any of our business, but I doubt it will last long." Foreman responded, hoping this would be the end of the conversation.

As they entered the elevator unaccompanied by anyone else, Chase added, "Foreman's right. Even House has his limits when it comes to Wilson. Hell, he might even make the first move toward making up." Chase smiled picturing House asking for forgiveness.

Cameron sighed as they exited the elevator and said, "I just hope House doesn't spend Christmas alone."

No one said anything more until they parted ways and told one another good-night.

Wilson drove with a speed that, under normal circumstances, he would criticize House for being too reckless. However, tonight he justified it by subconsciously fleeing from the recent pain he'd left behind in Princeton. As he drew closer to his parents' home Wilson started to feel a numbing sense of relief. Relief that came from getting away from his patients' dying and death, relief that came from being with people who loved him and who had no idea of what he was running from, but, most importantly, relief that came from pretending he was not missing out on being with House.

House sat with a bottle within arm's reach and a half-empty glass in his hand. It wasn't until he caught himself still thinking about Wilson, his current relationship with Wilson, and the irreparable damage he'd done to Wilson earlier that evening, that House realized he had made a mistake. House stood up to get his phone, calling the only person he knew could help him.

"This is Dr. Cuddy, how can I help you?" Lisa Cuddy robotically answered in a tired voice that confirmed the time to be just after 2 in the morning.

"Cuddy, it's me. I know it's late, but I need a favor." House said, his voice slightly betraying his masked desperation.

"A favor? Are you alright?" Cuddy asked, a little more alert.

"No, I'm not. I know this might sound bizarre, but could you tell me the address of Wilson's parents' house?"


End file.
